You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
