i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
