I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
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Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
there is puke in my bra ... again
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