True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
