she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
