oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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