so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
