There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize