The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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