your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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