i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
