We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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