Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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