Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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