Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
