its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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