We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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