We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
