there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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