i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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