Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
