READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
