This is the prime rib incident all over again
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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