hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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