I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
