Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
