i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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