didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Congratulations! We have a period
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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