Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
