my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
