My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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