Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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