Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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