my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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