Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
