Tell her she can't have a vagina
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
