Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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