Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
