I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
