He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
