Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
