we have officially lost it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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