if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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