Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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