guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
