like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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