everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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