Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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