Ambien. No doubt about it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize