yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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