Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
