Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
