the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
