i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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