I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
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Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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