on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
