She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
