it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just found puke in my bra..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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