The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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