You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize