AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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