that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
