I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
