as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
